closed eyes . . .
a star has fallen
– Carmela Marino (Italy)
Published on Haikuniverse
I wish I could see a whole image like this with closed eyes. Closed eyes mean to see the world through the third eye and to feel it deeply. Also, a falling star is a kind of hope and a bond with the universe that anyone can feel anywhere with a specific state of mind.
So, this is connectivity through imagination, meditation, and deep thinking to wish, pray, and ask for what we really want in our lives.
The word ‘somewhere’ depicts the concept of wholeness, where the poet, as a tiny part of this universe, wishes to see that falling star through her third eye. In a way, this is beyond wishes, where someone wants to get connected with celestial bodies by creating a harmonious and deep understanding of this world.
Words like closed, fallen, and somewhere are abstract in this haiku yet leave great room for a deep understanding of this unlimited universe and our unexplored inner world.
– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)
I believe this can be taken in at least two ways: a) it notes how each second, something magical or majestic happens in our universe b) when we are not looking, many amazing things happen. In the context of the second option, the poet might have missed a chance to make a wish upon a shooting star. However, the poet realized that stars could be falling at any moment throughout the universe and that one can make a sacred wish at any time.
Sonically, the most prominent sound comes from the string of “s.” One can imagine the hissing sound of a falling star by the reading of this haiku. Also, the “l”s work to make this poem more musical and pleasing.
I enjoy the use of the ellipsis to show how long the poet or the narrator closed their eyes. It also gives the reader time to let this action sink in.
This is a haiku that is at once imaginative and realistic.
– Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)
If you enjoyed this haiku and commentary, please leave us a comment.
Painting by Rick Beerhorst