Carmela Marino’s Closed Eyes

closed eyes . . .
a star has fallen
somewhere

– Carmela Marino (Italy)
Published on Haikuniverse

I wish I could see a whole image like this with closed eyes. Closed eyes mean to see the world through the third eye and to feel it deeply. Also, a falling star is a kind of hope and a bond with the universe that anyone can feel anywhere with a specific state of mind.

So, this is connectivity through imagination, meditation, and deep thinking to wish, pray, and ask for what we really want in our lives.

The word ‘somewhere’ depicts the concept of wholeness, where the poet, as a tiny part of this universe, wishes to see that falling star through her third eye. In a way, this is beyond wishes, where someone wants to get connected with celestial bodies by creating a harmonious and deep understanding of this world.

Words like closed, fallen, and somewhere are abstract in this haiku yet leave great room for a deep understanding of this unlimited universe and our unexplored inner world.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

I believe this can be taken in at least two ways: a) it notes how each second, something magical or majestic happens in our universe b) when we are not looking, many amazing things happen. In the context of the second option, the poet might have missed a chance to make a wish upon a shooting star. However, the poet realized that stars could be falling at any moment throughout the universe and that one can make a sacred wish at any time.

Sonically, the most prominent sound comes from the string of “s.” One can imagine the hissing sound of a falling star by the reading of this haiku. Also, the “l”s work to make this poem more musical and pleasing.

I enjoy the use of the ellipsis to show how long the poet or the narrator closed their eyes. It also gives the reader time to let this action sink in.

This is a haiku that is at once imaginative and realistic.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

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Painting by Rick Beerhorst

Hemapriya Chellappan’s Monsoon Yoga

monsoon yoga
here and there
a housefly

Hemapriya Chellappan (India)
Failed Haiku, journal of senryu, issue 45, Sept 2019

I’ve been in India during the monsoon season, and I can say how exciting and intense it is to see the rain crash down on the streets. All the commotion is compared to a housefly buzzing around here and there. Something epic and something small in aesthetic unison. Also, it contrasts the calmness of doing yoga. So, you can say we got a strong juxtaposition in this senryu/haiku–and a touch of humor.

Technically, it’s easy to spot the string of “o”s in the poem. It stretches the pace of the reading, slowing us down like yoga. Plus, we got some “r”s and “h”s to make it more musical. In terms of the structure and wording, it’s an efficient senryu/haiku–not wasting a word.

Great imagery, a fine juxtaposition, and a keen sense of sound make this poem an enjoyable read.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky  (USA)

The monsoon season is a time of yearning and transformation where many views outside and inside get refreshed and soil absorbs a lot of stories of the mourning sky. The sound of rain, petrichor, and new views bring original perspectives to life–and if we shift our focus from our world to the inner world, as in yoga and meditation, we find it very soothing, as there is a direct and deep connection between a monsoon and yoga. The spirit of this haiku revolves around the aspects that make our lives toxic due to a lot of reasons and activities that affect us mentally, spiritually, physically, and emotionally.

In terms of the housefly, I believe it is a metaphor that describes the dirt and filth around us. So, when it comes to a monsoon, all that filth comes to the surface and makes the environment more chaotic and toxic. A housefly can also represent the disturbing thoughts that keep us restless and dissatisfied daily. So, it is a monsoon that makes things obvious for us so that we can concentrate on our inner world and find out the best possible solutions to the chaos around and inside us.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

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Painting by Iruvan Karunakaran called Charminar Wet

Agnieszka Filipek’s Willow

willow

writing a message

on the lake

– Agnieszka Filipek (Ireland)
First published in The Cicada’s Cry

The willow tree represents strength, stability, growth, and knowledge or learning. This simple but profound haiku represents the shades of all these characteristics that nature presents through its different elements.

Writing a message on the lake shows the imagination of a person who is in sync with nature and beautifully shares her feelings about it. So, nature gives a lot of inspiration through its elements that we need to understand deeply.

The lake depicts calmness and the writing of a message on it means the person has faced many seasons and now she is ready to face life’s experiences.

The letter ‘w’ in this haiku sounds like waves of the past that strike the mind to recollect memories and to scribble them down when one is in a peaceful state.

– Hifsa Ashraf  (Pakistan)

The willow in Japan is a kigo, or a seasonal reference, for late spring. This reflects the magical and fantastical event that is written about in this haiku. Though the willow is not consciously writing a message, it appears so and or could be mistaken as doing so. These tricks of perception often show up in classical haiku.

What is the message about? If we use our imagination, all sorts of ideas could come to mind: the tree is getting too hot and fears the coming of summer, so it is writing a cry for help; it is writing a diary entry about its day; it’s writing what the wind wants to say through its brances; doggerel poetry; and many more ideas.

It’s important that haiku allow the reader to imagine and this is a good example of that principle.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

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– Art by Elinalee