a deep gorge . . .
some of the silence
Lovely visual of standing in awe. This is my first impression.
– Robert Gillette (USA)
Excellent juxtaposition… the implication is immediate!
– Gabri Rigotti (South Africa)
The first impression may be some unspoken words and some untold stories. The person still couldn’t find the right words to express his personal feelings, so it is representative of what he longs for or dreams of.
– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)
This haiku lets me be right in the center of it. I feel it and I think we can feel “silence.”
Also, it lets me look at it from another direction: there is a gorge of silence within me. So, the two images resonate. This one is special!
– Edwin Lomere (USA)
Mmm…deep gorge i.e. deep cut or crevasse in one’s heart or soul…or one’s faith in something or somebody… the silence as in no perceivable response to such pain… or the “silence is me” suggesting such a chasm of disappointment or pain or loss that one cannot imagine how to respond… just going with the flow here….
– Steve Woodall (USA)
Silence is zero and zero is silence—all creations are possible only in silence!
– Manoj Sharma (Nepal)
Much about the content has been pointed out, so I would like to add some ideas about the sound of the haiku. It seems that letters “o” and “e” are the most important sounds in this poem. With the “o” sounds, you can feel the depth of the gorge more. Furthermore, with the “e” sounds, I believe it lends also to sensing the depth of the gorge, and also to the act of introspection that the haiku details and that the reader acts upon in interpreting/feeling this haiku. What is also interesting is the consonance of “sound” and “silence,” making the third line have a more intuitive meaning through the music of the poem.
In addition, I want to mention the usage of the ellipsis. I believe this haiku is much stronger with punctuation added after the first line, especially with an ellipsis to make the reader linger in the feeling of being in a deep gorge.
– Nicholas Klacsanzky (Ukraine)
What do you think or feel about this haiku? Let us know in the comments.