Dave Read gives us a masterful last line, a strong pivot line, and an emotive first line.
I let her go
– Frogpond 39.1
Copyright 2016 Dave Read
I am a fan of Dave’s last lines. His haiku usually surprise readers in witty or emotional ways, or both. Last lines are kind of the first “aha” moments in haiku. The second eureka moment comes when you realize how the night winds may be, in a sense, speaking to Dave… and that’s why he lets “her” go to voicemail. I propose that “her” is either a girlfriend or a wife. Don’t want to sound like a psychologist, so I will put it at that.
The second line creates the tension in the haiku, which is essential to writing good haiku, and well, almost anything. Without tension, haiku would be merely a pretty picture. And by tension, I don’t mean exclusively stressful events, but some way for readers to have suspense or to feel a disconnect for a while before they figure it all out.
With the wind and the act of letting go, it seems he is handing her over to the forces of nature. But in the third line, we get a surprise.
“night winds” not only sounds emotive reading it out loud, it is emotive in the images and memories it brings to our minds. It also brings up a seasonal reference. I am feeling it is probably autumn, which would mark the change happening in the author’s relationship with the caller. Night winds carry on without obstruction, and this seems like what the author wanted to do as well.
But more than intellectual thought, the feeling of the author is palpable: the melancholy and introspection. Above all, to me, haiku are about a feeling. And I think Dave deftly got his feeling across.
– Nicholas Klacsanzky