he shoots a moose
with his iPhone
failed haiku v.1 i.1
© Dave Read (Canada)
“Banff Trail” refers to a trail in Banff National Park–the oldest national park in Canada. Then we get this rather intense image of a moose being shot. But wait… when the third line comes, we realize the moose is only being shot by an iPhone camera. But this surprise is more than just wit.
Dave, I believe, is contrasting the old and new–a prominent theme in haiku/senryu. Banff National Park, as I said, is the oldest national park in Canada, and this is being contrasted with the freshness of an iPhone. And in this new generation, we shoot moose with our iPhone cameras rather than our guns.
I think this poem is a remembrance, however witty it seems on the surface, of how our old generation hunted such beautiful and epic creatures without remorse. Though we may chuckle at the poem, beneath its humor is a long history of making the moose almost extinct.
The “o” sound is prominent, with “shoots” “moose” and iPhone.” It gives a sense of distance and maybe the range of shooting either a camera or gun.
Though simple and humorous, Dave has given us a reminder of our past and how we have progressed as a race.
– Nicholas Klacsanzky (Ukraine)