I love the journey of this tanka. It shows how our actions, like a simple breath, can be integrated with the nature and return back to affect our lives later on. The photo adds to the atmosphere, and maybe makes the breeze a sea breeze.
Names are kind of like leaves. They grow out from a being and are reminders of who we are. The poet is probably speaking the name of a loved one and has an insight about how her breath is carried throughout the natural world and returns to her own place of residence, throwing up leaves in her window to make a curtain in order for her to sleep better. The last line comes as a surprise and makes one peaceful simultaneously.
The sound of the tanka is resonant. The “i” sound flows through it with “i” “it” “stir” and “curtaining.” This sound gives off a starkness. Also, “breeze” “leaves” and “curtaining” have a sort of internal rhyme that makes me feel the wafting of the breeze more.
I also enjoy how the poet sets the lines, like a breeze carrying on. Marina has worked on this tanka thoughtfully and with great intention.
– Nicholas Klacsanzky